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When I was sixteen I made a conscious decision to become an artist. It was a vague idea but got grounded when I was accepted at The Royal Academy of Fine Arts at 18. Studying figure drawing was as beautiful as I had dreamt, but there were questions that only seemed to have dark answers. I was interested in the beauty of the human body and wanted to learn how to draw this well.
Roman statues formerly used as models for anatomical study lay broken in a corner of the room and Jackson Pollock was the leading artist of the time. The future of art looked grim. It made me uncomfortable. I realized that Michelangelo was long dead and it seemed to be a delusion to hold on to his way of working towards an ideal. A delusion is a persistent false psychotic belief regarding something outside the self that is maintained despite indisputable evidence to the contrary.
This is how dreams get shattered. Before the end of the year I choose a profession that was more grounded in reality and had the possibility of a paycheck; graphic designer. But was it indisputable evidence or just me believing it? This passion for the simple act of drawing a human body got denied for no apparent reason. It took decennia before I would pick it up again.
I learned to know modern day artists who would solely focus on drawing the human body and made beautiful works of art that way. Nicolai Blokhin and Kenyon Cox, to name a few. What a missed opportunity! Only because I thought I was delusional. The limitation was in my head, not my talent, nor skill! Coaching could have prevented me to kill my own dream. Find Out More jacobinao.com/coaching.php
